OK 2023, let’s make a deal

Look 2023, if you’re going to move in, we need to come to an agreement.

I tried to live with 2022 but it ate all the chocolate, and used all the toilet paper without replacing the roll. 2022 took people I cared about and didn’t even offer condolences. So, I’m suspicious of your kind. I mean, these last few years have not been a picnic and I’m over it.

So this year, 2023, I’m thinking I’ll call the shots. I pick the music and you follow. 

I’m tired of striving to stay positive and optimistic month after month only to be disappointed time and again. It is exhausting. It’s like holding up the sun in the sky.

I realize that if I let go, night falls and I’m left in the dark.
So this year, I will make peace with the dark.

I will welcome the night as an honoured guest.

At least, night brings rest as a hostess gift. Night melts the gateway between the rational, finite, structured material world and the formless, magical, feeling world where imagination thumbs its nose at the rules.

This year, I will make peace with whatever I feel.

I will befriend anger.

I will embrace anxiety.

I will soothe fear.

I will comfort sadness.

I will commiserate with resentment.

We all need belonging, to be embraced, comforted and feel less alone. Even feelings. 
Especially feelings.

This year, I will endeavour to age with grace.

I will meet my changing face and body without judgement.

I am morphing into a new being and it is terrifying not to know what I will look like when I face myself every morning. I just know I will look different.

But this year, I will not resist the process. I will let go of the belief that it can be resisted with creams, injections or workouts. (It can’t)

This year, I will remember that my value is not tied to my looks and there is a place waiting for me among The Wise.

This year, I will allow the world to spin as it will. And let others whirl madly in the name of productivity – if they so choose. I am done trying to keep up. (I can’t)

I have danced to this tune before and I know how it turns out. There is no deadline or scorecard or schedule but what I make up. I will take a seat with a view and pet my dog and we’ll watch it unfold.

This year, I will remember that creativity, courage and resilience are still there when I feel uninspired, afraid or brittle.

I don’t need to feel strong to trust. I don’t need to feel brave to take a step forward. I don’t need to feel resilient to pull through. Experience gives me ample proof that all I need is to remember that I already am.

This year, I will allow myself to unravel, unwind and drift more often. The notion that I must earn my rest is made up.

This year, I will no longer try to hold the sun up in the sky. I will allow the sun to set and night to fall. I will allow the planet to cycle around our star and approach the seasons in myself with wonder.

So, 2023, do we have a deal?

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